Alive and Kicking

These two little children are still alive, which should be grounds for a miracle, considering their mother is laboring to parent them under the weight of a breast infection. Yes, I have mastitis, which is a huge pain in the ass, frankly. It means taking antibiotics, lugging around a very sore and grumpy right breast, extra pumping, and feeling vaguely flu-ish.

Sweet.

Jeff is out of town this week so it was definitely time to suck it up and get extra help and take it easy. To that end, here's what I did today:

6:20 a.m.: Up with Simon, playing and nursing.

7:30 a.m.: Take the party to Sadie's room because she's is awake and asking for some attention in a voice that is the volume of, say, 10 out of 10.

7:30-8:15 a.m.: Play and get breakfast/milk for Sadie and Mommy. Prepare Simon's breakfast.

8:15 a.m.: Pump.

8:45 a.m.-9:30 a.m.: Take Sadie to the park to play.

9:45 a.m.-12:15 p.m.: Write children's books with my partner and hang out with Simom.

12:15 p.m.-1:30 p.m.: Make lasagna sauce, and lunch for me and the two kids. Confirm with doctor that a prescription was called in for my MASTITIS.

1:30 p.m.: Go to pharmacy and stand in stupid long line to get medicine. Finally, when the pharmacist can assist me, I learn I am at the WRONG pharmacy.

1:39 p.m.: Cry, keen and wail and shake my fist at god. Feel weak and sick. Drive to correct pharmacy to get the goods.

1:45 p.m.: Pharmacy says it's not ready come back in 20 minutes. (In the pharmacy world, that means about 2 hours.)

1:47 p.m.: Gnash teeth, send out angry texts to anyone who has ever texted me saying how much I hate the pharmacy and stupid breast infection.

2:45 p.m.: Return to pharmacy. There is no one in line, but still it takes 20 minutes to get me my f&cking antibiotics. Good thing I had a book to read. Read 10 pages.

3:15 p.m.: Make brownies with extra eggs for cakelike batter. Playgroup at my house; I like to serve brownies.

3:30 p.m.: The first of 5 mommies comes to my house for playgroup.

6:10 p.m.: The last of the mommies leaves my house. Sadie sits on a bench in our courtyard and refuses to come in, even though Simon is crying and ready to eat. I bribe Sadie with the iPad if she will just, for the love of Zeus, get in the house.

6:13-6:55 p.m.: Feed Simon and Sadie and try to boil noodles for lasagna. Refridgerate leftover playgroup brownies.

7:00 p.m.: Install Sadie in the bedroom with iPad and nurse Simon and get him to sleep. Wonderful lovebug moments.

7:15 p.m.: Find Sadie installed into iPad, feel guilty for getting her addicted. Sit on bed next to her and pump while watching Elmo videos.

7:30 p.m.: Ask Sadie to turn off the iPad so we can go downstairs and assemble the lasagna. I dodge her fists as she retaliates for having her crack removed from her hands.

7:32 p.m.: Sadie and I assemble a delicious lasagna while I also eat a sandwich for dinner.

7:55 p.m.: I fix myself some tea and Sadie some milk and we sit on the couch eating a yogurt bar and reading a book.

8:02 p.m.: I tell Sadie it's time for bed and she refuses to go upstairs with me. I eventually carry her upstairs where she seems to think it's funny to try and kick me. Repeatedly. In the face.

8:15 p.m.: I sit with a pajamaed Sadie in her chair, rocking her and singing her songs my Grandma Tate used to sing me. I apologize for my short temper and tell her that I love her very much and support her passion for all things Elmo. I also tell her that it's my job to help her have some balance and to enjoy people and relationships as much as she does Elmo. I mention that Elmo is not real.

8:22 p.m.: I stand up to put her in her crib and she begs for one more hug. We do this about 4 times. During each hug she puts her feet in the pocket of my shorts and tries to stand up. I am not finding this funny, but she is. Oh, lord, she thinks this is a riot.

8:25 p.m.: I put her down and she tries to climb out of her crib.

8:30 p.m.: We share our last good night hug and kiss and I remind her of all the fun things we will do tomorrow.

8:45 p.m.: Collapse in a puddle of drool.

Good thing I took it easy today.